I've been thinking a bit lately about our baby that we lost through miscarriage in September. This week would have been just about time to be feeling the baby moving around if I had still been safely carrying the wee one. I'm not sure if it's that, or just maybe with Thanksgiving coming up this week, that my thoughts have been frequently straying to how thankful I am for that little one's life.
Striking to me has been the absence of bitterness in this process. I am thankful, truly thankful, that the Lord spared me from that. But that is not to say there isn't still a sense of loss. John and I had the opportunity last week to have a date, and as we sat and talked over coffee, the topic of the baby came up. I was surprised by the depth of emotion that suddenly welled up in me. Before I knew it, tears were flowing as we talked about life ahead without this child. Undergirding my heart's emotions, however, is a true and overwhelming sense of gratitude for the Lord's plan. He gave us the gift of this little one, He touched and changed our lives through her brief presence, and He sustained us as we dealt with the loss of our fourth child.
Thinking about this loss reminds me again of the fragility of life. We have a dear friend who is facing a difficult diagnosis, again, after a previous successful stem cell transplant. Others we know are experiencing other deep, deep trials, physical suffering, and loss of precious loved ones. Thankfully, these things can remind us of what is really true: this world is not our home, the promises of God are sure and steadfast, He will make everything right one day, our hope in Christ is secure because of His faithfulness.
So, to put it simply, as we approach Thanksgiving, let's remember that a thankful heart is also something to be thankful for. It's a gift from God to preserve our hearts in faith and give us a thankful spirit. I am thankful this year that the Lord protected and nourished my faith through the loss of our child, that bitterness is nowhere in sight, and that He has given me the gift of a thankful heart for this experience. May He be honored and glorified by our thanksgiving to Him!