The other night John sat down and actually read my blog. Yes, I know, this may not be surprising to you, but in reality, he NEVER reads my blog. He says that he already knows what happened, experienced it and even saw the pictures, so why should he spend very limited time on reading something he already knows?
But he read it the other night. As he often does when he knows I am looking for his opinion, he offered a sweet compliment as well as some constructive criticism. The compliment I will keep to myself, but the criticism? Simply this: maybe if you weren't here and didn't see our life from day to day, only read the blog, you might get the idea that our life is one big party and fun event after another, and we all always get along, and nothing is ever difficult, challenging, or stressful.
Well, I hope I am a bit more transparent than that in my writing. You all have heard plenty, especially if you've been reading my musings over time, about the challenges and difficulties of life over here, parenthood, etc. However, I do have to keep my thoughts here about our work rather general, and sometimes don't talk about it at all, but that's not because I wouldn't like to share.
Anyway, in the interest of "keepin' it real," and following my husband's advice, tonight I thought I'd share with you some things that have been challenging lately and ask for your prayers on the matter.
One challenge that is somewhat all-encompassing is that these last six months have been more busy than I ever could have imagined. We have moved to a level of busyness that we've never known in our 12 years of marriage. John has taken on some new responsibilities and though he has been cheerfully serving with a humble heart (from my perspective), I have sometimes had a hard time with his increased workload which has meant long, long days for him and oftentimes, late nights as well.
As a wife, there is a temptation to want John's help when he gets home--can you take the kids for a moment? Can you do this thing or that thing?--rather than always seeing myself as HIS helper, looking to meet his needs when he walks in the door. There's also a temptation for me to be dissatisfied with the amount of time he is able to give to me and the kids. Even when we plan special family times, or take time to go out together, I can tend to think "it's not enough," rather than being grateful for what we have! I am learning, slowly learning, to be content with our family times and not make family time into an idol, but it is hard sometimes! Do any of you wives with busy husbands out there relate to this struggle?
Also, there's just the fatigue factor. It is tiring to be busy all of the time, to always feel like "I MUST keep doing work tonight or I won't get things done by the time they need to be done!" The tyranny of the urgent has been the rule, rather than the exception, lately. And that gets tiring. It's a challenge when you don't see any light at the end of the tunnel! Or, the tunnel seems so impossibly long that you're not sure you'll ever make it out!
But, the good news is, we do see a bit of a break coming. The bad news is, it won't be for another four weeks. The next four weeks are packed solid. Packed with good things, to be sure, but packed nonetheless.
So, thanks for your prayers! Father is always so gracious and provides all we need. And I feel better already having "confessed" to all of you! Ahhh . . . thanks for letting me be real!