Saturday, September 19, 2009

Sad News

There isn't any easy way to write what I am going to share today, but in the interest of updating you all and soliciting your prayers, I wanted to write.

I did go to the doctor in the capital city on Wednesday, and actually had a wonderful day, accompanied by my friend Rachel. I spent some good time in Philippians throughout the day and really felt the Lord speaking to me in many ways. Rachel and I had fun together, too! But my results at the doctor's office were inconclusive, again! I had another ultrasound, and it looked like there was some growth, but again, the doctor said it was too early to tell and she actually strongly advised me to "terminate" based on my dates and the fact that the gestational sac looked empty. I told her I would not do anything of the sort until I was absolutely sure that there was no hope of life for this baby.

I returned home feeling that slight sliver of hope again and determined to pour my heart out in prayer, asking the Creator of Life for His power since obviously I could do nothing about the situation.

But today, I began to have some heavy bleeding, and without going into the unpleasant details, I am quite sure that I am experiencing a miscarraige. There have been quite a few tears today (even as I write this) but I am trusting that He will comfort me and help me to trust Him more, knowing His love for me as His child and His good, good plan for my life and our family's life as a whole.

I'm sure there will be many lessons to learn through this all but for tonight, I would just ask that you would pray for this situation--for my health (I'd like to avoid a surgical procedure and just allow things to take place naturally), for our family, for my tender heart, and for the Lord to make His presence felt in amazing ways. Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me to know people are praying.

He is God, and He is good. Meditating on that tonight. . .

17 comments:

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

Praying for you...I lost a baby 9 years ago. I still grieve what "could have been", but have found comfort in knowing that God is the giver of all life and I trust in Him...
*hugs*

Erica said...

Oh Rachel - I am so very sorry to hear this. My heart is truly hurting for you. I will CONTINUE to pray for you and your family. That you will know His peace and that He will show you His good and perfect will.
Love to you sweet friend...

Brigitte said...

Rachel, friend, I am so sorry. May He extend healing in your body and in your heart. I wish I could give you a big hug and help take care of your girls for you.

sandra said...

Love you girl. I am so sorry. Love you. Wish we could talk over a grande-non-fat-with-whip-mocha. hugs.

The Culbertsons said...

Rachel - My heart hurts for you and if I were there, I would cry right along with you. You and John are in our prayers. Praise God for His comfort in the midst of grief. *hugs to you*

-Dianna

Anonymous said...

John and Rachel,
We're soooo sorry!
Our hearts go out to you as you grieve and miss this little one whom you were just getting to know. We will continue to pr for you and that things proceed without complications. Hugs to all of you! If you need to talk/ type, you know our address!
Rebecca VE

Liz said...

I have been through what you are going through and it is truly heart breaking.I will be praying for peace and healing.

Kay said...

Rachel - Please know that we are lifting you up in prayer. My heart aches for you. Praying our great God will grant you His peace and comfort.

Anonymous said...

Rachel, Jared and I are lifting you up daily, and will continue. Love, Kelly J.

Anonymous said...

Rachel,
We are praying for you and your family. I wish I could give you a hug!
Love,
Kristie

Corrigan family said...

Suffering and loss are part of this human journey, aren't they? Visions of God's future are even more precious at times like this...may He comfort you with certainty in what is unseen.

Aalderinks said...

May the Lord continue to draw you closer to Him during this time. May His Word continue to come to mind and sustain you and your family. May He grant you quick healing, both physically and emotionally.

Anna said...

I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

Amanda said...

We'll continue to pray for you. We were all looking forward to another cousin, but instead I'll look forward to more time praying for you guys.
Love,
Amanda

Lena Sanders said...

Rachel,

I wept when I heard of your family's sad news. You and John are in my prayers. May the Lord wrap his loving arms around you right now where you are and give you healing, peace and comfort.

Love, Lena

Jennifer said...

Rachel & John,
I am echoing the sentiments of so many who have already commented here. We are lifting your family up in our prayers. The loss of a child, at any point, is heartbreaking.

Groovers said...

Rachel,
I'm so very sorry for this difficult time of the "unknown"...to us that is. I'm so thankful that our Father knows all. May He be very near to you in this time. Lots of love,
Courtney Groover