There isn't any easy way to write what I am going to share today, but in the interest of updating you all and soliciting your prayers, I wanted to write.
I did go to the doctor in the capital city on Wednesday, and actually had a wonderful day, accompanied by my friend Rachel. I spent some good time in Philippians throughout the day and really felt the Lord speaking to me in many ways. Rachel and I had fun together, too! But my results at the doctor's office were inconclusive, again! I had another ultrasound, and it looked like there was some growth, but again, the doctor said it was too early to tell and she actually strongly advised me to "terminate" based on my dates and the fact that the gestational sac looked empty. I told her I would not do anything of the sort until I was absolutely sure that there was no hope of life for this baby.
I returned home feeling that slight sliver of hope again and determined to pour my heart out in prayer, asking the Creator of Life for His power since obviously I could do nothing about the situation.
But today, I began to have some heavy bleeding, and without going into the unpleasant details, I am quite sure that I am experiencing a miscarraige. There have been quite a few tears today (even as I write this) but I am trusting that He will comfort me and help me to trust Him more, knowing His love for me as His child and His good, good plan for my life and our family's life as a whole.
I'm sure there will be many lessons to learn through this all but for tonight, I would just ask that you would pray for this situation--for my health (I'd like to avoid a surgical procedure and just allow things to take place naturally), for our family, for my tender heart, and for the Lord to make His presence felt in amazing ways. Thank you so much, it really means a lot to me to know people are praying.
He is God, and He is good. Meditating on that tonight. . .