Valentine's Day with the ones I love

Valentine's Day happily fell on a Monday this year...our family day.  We had planned to go out as a family, perhaps to Starbucks, perhaps to make a trip to the flower market or buy some Dove chocolate (yes we can get Dove here!), but it snowed on Sunday and so we ended up staying in.  We all enjoyed a more leisurely day at home.  Plus, then I had the time to put together (with some help from Lou, of course,) this wonderful Tex-Mex Valentine's dinner.  It was yummy!  Recipes to come soon!

It cannot be denied, however, that the girls were most excited about this cake.  How do you like this "keepin' it real" photo?  Christin's hair looks like she was electrocuted (actually just braided and then she pulled out the braids, leaving behind frizz), Clara Anne has a very strange fake smile and Chloe looks a little fuzzy about it all.  The cake was called "Love Cake"--a recipe from the Cake Mix Doctor.  It had melted white chocolate and extra butter in the white cake mix, and then the frosting was a strawberry buttercream.  Yum-O!

Clara Anne actually took this picture of me with my sweetheart, married 14 plus years now!  This is definitely another keepin' it real photo.  No makeup, no shower that day, not even a smidge of lipstick!  That's when you know you're truly loved. . . John could have cared less.  Or maybe he was just happy about the cake.  :)

A little sister-love to close the evening.  We enjoyed our relaxed, no pressure Valentine's Day celebration.  I enjoyed being with the ones I love!  We ended the evening as we usually do. . .around the piano, worshipping the One who Loved us first and Loved us best.  Happy Valentine's Day!

The Toy-free Experiment, part 2

Whew!  We made it to the end of toy-free week!

Actually, it wasn't too difficult.  It was probably hardest for Christin, who is only 2.5, since toys are a huge part of her day.  However, other than once early in the week when she tried to sneak some Polly Pocket dolls out of the bin, she didn't complain, didn't ask for toys, and generally did great!  She and I had some special reading sessions and she was the first one to volunteer to help me with the dishes.  (I wash, I rinse, and she stacks.  Today she even dried some that were safe for her to handle!) 

Chloe also did fine.  At 4.5, she LOVES to color, so that was an easy and fun solution for her.  She will gladly spend a very long time meticulously coloring numerous pictures.  She also was happy to sit in on some extra reading time with Mommy and do other fun things, too--dancing, taking a play-bath, helping in the kitchen. 

Clara Anne seemed to do fine with the no-toys rule (found plenty to do to occupy herself and usually roped her sisters into it too) but I sensed that her heart was still having some struggles submitting, and she was just "putting up with it" until the required time period was over.  I think my interactions with her this week showed me again that I cannot neglect the heart issues behind the toy disputes and bad attitudes.  The attitudes may still be there even if the toys are taken away.

In general I thought we all had a good week.  We had fun reading more books, the girls were more involved in the things I was doing, they had the chance to be "bored" for a bit and use some extra creativity to think of something to do, and I only had to enforce a punishment for getting toys out twice. I do feel like the girls generally are very creative in their play, and that's a blessing which helped this week.  I am thankful for the break from toys--though I did find that my girls found other ways to make messes that also needed to eventually be cleaned up.  (You know, forts with blankets, changing clothes 10 times in one day, things like that!)  So goes life!  It's all part of it.

Thanks to those of you who commented...I thought everyone had something valuable to contribute!  In light of how this week went and as I've been thinking and praying through this, here's my plan (which is going to be a multifaceted approach and draw a lot from you all, too):

1. Limit the number of toys in our home.  I actually did some purging of toys this week that made me feel a lot better, but I think we could reduce more.  I think we WILL reduce more as we anticipate our upcoming move, too.  But it just makes sense: the less toys there are, the less we have to organize, clean up, store, etc.  And I'm NOT worried about the girls not having enough educational toys or some such silly nonsense, we all know that children can be entertained for hours with their a cardboard box and their own imaginations!  So reducing the number of our toys is going to be key.

2. Continue to enforce the family rule that when you're done with something, you are responsible to put it away.  There may need to be a more severe consequence for this since it seems it's awfully easy to leave out 17 different things.  I am trying to train Clara Anne to take the lead in this, since she's the oldest and could potentially do the majority of clean-up time by herself.  Unfortunately sometimes it seems she is the one with the most resistant attitude.  (The other day when I told her it was time to clean up, she actually claimed an injury to her leg which would prevent her from bending down to get things off the floor!  Puh-leeze!)  Chloe and Christin, though they need more instruction, usually think it's pretty fun to clean up.  We may do a sort of "beat the timer" kind of race with some points given on their charts occasionally to help this process. 

3.  Do not allow bad attitudes at clean up time.  Period.

4.  Utilize what we call "stations"--we've done this before where I set up each child with something fun to play with in an area, and then after a certain amount of time has gone by (30 minutes on the timer or something like that), then the children leave the toy or activity where it is and rotate to the next child's station.  This is similar to what Rebecca mentioned in her comment about blanket time with a toy.  I think it's a good option, especially when there's been some of what I call "low-level bickering."  It gives the girls some time to play by themselves and everybody still gets something fun to do.  I may even schedule one morning a week as "station" morning.

5.  Be willing to put away (or take away forever) certain toys if there continues to be issues over them.

6.  Finally, pray, pray, pray!  Oh that the Lord would grant wisdom in teaching and training my children in these areas!  I know that I desperately feel my need for His wisdom; I'm aware (at least partially) of the impact I'm making on their lives, and I earnestly desire to be a good example, to help them to grow, and to seek to have our home be a place of harmony, peace, joy, and full of the other fruits of the Spirit.  It's certain that only HE can produce those things in us or in our home!  But thankfully, His promises are sure and His word is faithful, so I can trust that help is there for me when I need it.  I want to keep asking for that help and wisdom in prayer!

I think this toy experiment has also helped me to examine my own heart more clearly, and to perhaps adjust my expectations a bit.  The truth of the matter is, I have three young children who are home all the time.  No one goes off to school, no one is gone from the house on a regular basis, we are all living in this space constantly.  Do I unreasonably expect that the house will always be picked up and clean and tidy?  I tell myself that I am fine with the mess as long as children also clean up happily at the appropriate time, but am I being honest with myself?  Or do I have some unrealistic expectation of being home all day, every day, with four other humans living in this space and everything always in order?

Homes are meant to be lived in.  The last thing I want is for my family to feel like they can't live life in our home because life makes a mess.  But on the other hand, there is a beauty and order and peace to a well-organized, tidy home.  We all feel more comfortable when we aren't crunching on yesterday's toast crumbs when we sit down for breakfast.  Or more likely at our house, stepping on cooked rice as we try to walk through the dining area.  (Have you ever tried to get sticky rice out of socks?  It's a true sticky mess!)  So there has to be a balance.  The more I think of it, the more I feel that balance is simply enjoying our activities, enjoying our toys, and then with an equally cheerful heart, disciplining ourselves to clean them up. 

Thanks for your input, friends, and thanks for going along with me in the toy-free experiment!

The Toy-free Experiment

There's been a lot of talk around our house for a long (VERY long) time about cleaning up toys.  Ever since Clara Anne was beginning to be mobile, our principle regarding toys was this: whatever you get out to play with, when you are done playing with it, you put it away.  It's that simple.  We live in a small space.  We don't have a toyroom, we need to use every bit of our house for multiple purposes and can't function well with a mess.  However, lately there's been lots of this kind of talk around my house:

"I'm done playing with it, but Chloe (or Christin or Clara) isn't done, so we can't clean it up yet."

"But I didn't get it out!  Shouldn't she have to put it away?"

"Noooo, Clara!  (Or Chloe or Christin)  I still want to play with that!"

"I had it first!"  "No you didn't!  It's mine!"  "Is not, you know we're supposed to share!  Mo-om!  She's not sharing!"

And on and on.

I have tried various tactics to solve this problem.  First of all, on a most basic heart level, the girls' attitudes towards toys are frequently sinful.  Why do they fight over them, balk at putting them away, or whine when a sister grabs the thing they wanted?  Sin.  Selfishness, greed, not loving or thinking kindly of the other person but wanting it all for themselves, unwilling to relinquish the silly bit of wood or plastic or whatever it is that has suddenly become central to their existence and they cannot bear to think of living without it!

So I usually talk to them about the sin problem first.  But then there are a host of other issues that come out of that.  There's responsibility, learning to do what they know is right without having to be asked/reminded 2,849 times, as well as respect for the family rules and guidelines that simply help the house run smoother.  There are character issues that have to do with being generous, thoughtful, and kind, as well as keeping neat, caring for things, and staying organized.  I am also big on teaching the girls initiative. . . can they look at a messy room, see what needs to be done, and do it?  Or do they need me to delineate every little thing?  "Put the marker back in the marker bin.  That bowl needs to go back to the kitchen.  Please throw away the scraps of paper."  To me, learning initiative is part of learning to think--a very important skill!  In that light, dealing with toys can be a real teacher!

In my opinion, we have a lot of toys.  Many of them are very educational and are part of a "set."  For example, a magnetic doll that has many different outfits that can be put on her, and all fit in the same wooden box when playtime is done.  But then we have a fair amount of junky toys.  Too many stuffed animals, cheap plastic bits of this and that, and then things that the girls have found and repurposed as toys.  So I know that one of my big tasks as we look ahead to moving in June is to sort, give away, and purge those toys which seem to multiply overnight. 

But in the meantime, by the end of last week, I had had enough.  There had been several days of the girls not doing a good job with cleaning up toys, and I was frustrated.  I have tried to find a balance of teaching them to clean up toys themselves, and helping them so that it doesn't take forever, and at the end of last week it seemed that fights were erupting as clean up was supposed to be happening, and both older girls ended up in time outs for other attitude problems, which meant I ended up doing the clean up.  (Sorry to be so frank and air the "dirty laundry", so to speak, but that's what happened.)  I wasn't pleased with that and neither was John when he came home and heard me (of course very calmly and graciously, ha!) tell him that toys had been a problem.  Earlier in the week we had had a pretty serious sit-down talk with the girls, so by the end of the week when I was still. . . ahem. . . calmly and graciously "reporting" on the problem to him, we took a drastic measure. 

Simply this:  No toys this week. 

Yep, no toys.  No playing with Polly Pockets, Dominoes, blocks, and jenga pieces all in the construction of some grand structure for the Polly Pockets to live in.  No getting out the lacing game and using the string to tie around stuffed animals as a leash, a sister's ankles as ballet ribbons, or tying toys together to make a "train."  No scattering of crayons, markers, scissors, stickers, pens, colored pencils, construction paper, glue, and tape all over the floor, which happened one morning when I had seemingly only left the room for a few minutes.  No more twice-daily struggles to get everyone to pitch in cheerfully when it was time for the more thorough clean up.

No toys.

The girls absorbed the news just fine, but weren't sure what it would mean for them.  I knew, and hoped it wouldn't turn out to be more of a punishment for me than them!

So, in the new-no-toys environment, what were they to do?  I had several suggestions:  Read books.  We have a well-stocked bookshelf and it's been underappreciated lately.  Crayons and coloring books were another suggestion.  Also, play games like hide and seek, pretend,  dancing to music, all of those are good options.  As well, I reserved the right to pull out a toy and sit someone down with it for a period of time if I wanted to.  And, we had plenty of school scheduled for this week, so I figured we'd get through it somehow.

But what I didn't anticipate was that the girls would hardly seem to miss their toys at all!  The effect over the last three days has been very minimal, isn't that surprising?  They've had fun!  They went out and played in the snow with John yesterday.  We've listened to the Chronicles of Narnia (Focus on the Family radio theatre), made it through the first two books already.  We've colored pictures.  They played an elaborate pretend game yesterday that involved orphans and cloaks in the snow and--no toys.
They've been more available and willing to help me in the kitchen.  Best of all, there haven't been any fights over toys, messes from toys, disputes about toys, reluctance to clean up toys, or time wasted doing any of the above!  It's been wonderful!

So, while our no-toys week is obviously not a permanent solution, I am enjoying a much needed break.  I would love to hear from you other, more experienced moms if you have had the same battles and what you've done about it.  Any advice is appreciated!  Do you simply limit the number of toys in your home?  Do you find you are always teaching/correcting over toys?  Do you "assign" certain toys to certain days?  I've read of moms doing this; I've done it on occasion but it seems to structured for me to use all the time, but maybe it would be a good solution?  Chime in with your ideas, I'm all ears!

Dreaming of Sand and Sun

There was a bit of a snowfall yesterday.  The morning came on rather quietly, with a heavy gray sky, and by 10:30 it was snowing lightly.  It continued into the afternoon, and I left early for Clara Anne's ballet class since yesterday was a first for me...riding bike in the snow!  I made it fine on the way there; the streets were still only wet.  But on the way home the wind was in my face and I absolutely could not see because of the snow driving into my eyes!  Clara Anne had taken along a small pink umbrella (she was obviously smarter than me) and I had to swipe it from her in order to see properly.  Yikes!  I was thankful when we were home safely again.

At this moment, the girls and John are out playing in the fast-melting snow and I am dreaming of sandy, sunny, warm places.  Places like this:

And this:

Where I can do this:

And the girls can do this:

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen anytime soon.  What IS happening soon, though, is that Clara Anne and I get to attend a home schooling conference in sunny, warm, delightful, lime-and-coconut-scented Thailand.  We will leave on Sunday the 20th and come back (already!) on Friday the 25th.  We won't be in a beach location, but the place where the conference is being held is at a resort where there is lots of fresh air, sunshine, a pool, and areas for kids to play.  Best yet, the conference has free time scheduled from 3-5 each afternoon (then with a session in the evening) so that we can take full advantage of that pool!  We are very excited! 

[Side note...we were warned that the resort "has hot water for showers...sometimes" so I think we'll have another good reason to hit the pool everyday!  Some pools in Thailand also have an outdoor shower, so if necessary we can always bring a bit of shampoo with us to shower up after our swim time.  It's best to be prepared for anything!]

So, though John has to stay home with Chloe and Christin, he is glad for me that I get to go.  Clara Anne has been talking about our trip and asking questions non-stop.  It'll be lovely!  There won't be any sand this time, but I'm ready for a few days in the sunny south!

Let's Talk Salads!

Salads, wonderful though they are, were not first on my list of foods I wanted to enjoy when we moved to Asia.  I was skeptical of my ability to get the greens clean and was afraid that eating raw vegetables would make us sick.  I was also nervous about "night soil" fertilizer, which I heard was pretty common here.  And after a bout with giardia in our first year, I didn't trust the water used to wash the vegetables either!  Finally, though,  I developed a three step process:  clean my greens in water with a bit of soap, rinse off that water, and then do another rinse with bottled water.  At that point I felt they were safe and was willing to eat them, so salads became part of our life again.  (That is, if I was willing to put the work into that process!)

Since salad dressing wasn't available, I found ways to make my own.  Here are two of my favorite recipes:  strawberry vinaigarette and the one I'll share today for Mandarin Almond Salad.  It does require almond extract in the dressing for the full effect, but it is worth asking for in a care package or buying out of the country.  The dressing is obviously different without the almond extract, but still delicious.  I served this salad with our Christmas Dinner meal and it was wonderful!  Even my friend who is usually an "Italian dressing only" salad eater enjoyed it!

Mandarin Almond Salad
1/4 cup sliced almonds (I didn't have any, so I used chopped pecans, which were delightful also)
2 T sugar
2 tsp minced parsley (I used cilantro)
1-2 bunches leaf lettuce
1 cup sliced raw celery
1 c. drained mandarin oranges (I used about 10 xiao jin ju, clementines)

Dressing:
2 Tbsp vinegar
2 Tbsp sugar
1/4 cup oil (I used corn oil)
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp almond extract

First, carmelize the almonds (pecans).  Combine the nuts with the sugar in a dry frypan.  Cook over low heat, stirring until sugar melts to coat the nuts.  Spread on greased foil to cool.  To make the salad, add to the lettuce the celery, parsley (cilantro) and oranges.  Pour on the dressing and toss to coat.  Sprinkle with carmelized almonds (pecans).  Serve immediately.  Yummy!

Homemade Croutons are also a favorite on salads at our house.  Crouton's final flavor really depends a lot on what kind of bread you start with, so I'd use homemade bread if at all possible.  I usually have a bag in my freezer of those leftover ends and crusts, I use those for breadcrumbs but make croutons out of the "good stuff"--the middle of the loaf!  (Sorry, crust lovers!)

Here's what I do:  Lay out on cookie sheets slices of bread.  In a small bowl, pour some olive oil and crush in lots of fresh garlic.  Brush the oil mixture generously over the bread and sprinkle with your choice of dried spices (I often use an italian mix--basil and oregano, but thyme or dill would be good too) and plenty of salt  (garlic salt is yummy!).  A sprinkle of parmesan cheese wouldn't hurt either.  Then, turn the bread slices over and repeat.   Finally, dice the bread into cubes on the tray, stir around briefly, and bake in a 250 oven for approximately an hour, stirring occasionally.  Get them nice and crispy and they're done.  Mmmm...delicious!  Try to refrain from popping them in your mouth like candy!

Happy salad eating, everyone!

Reflecting on Cooking Overseas...and Recipes!

Living in this country for 7 plus years has really developed my cooking skills.  In many ways, I feel like I "learned to cook" after moving here.  Actually, my mom started me early...as young as 10 I was preparing meals for my family.  I could use the oven, the stovetop, and often my mom would start a meal and have me finish it after I came home from school, while she was teaching piano lessons.  Thankfully she was always in the next room in case I had questions!  There were a few disasters, including a time where the butter for grilled cheese sandwiches got too hot in the skillet and filled the kitchen with smoke.  My brother Dan came in and shouted, "Hit the deck!"  We all did--me including!--until I realized it was up to me to do something and prevent a fire!  That story has become a part of our family lore and still gets brought up occasionally!  However, most meals worked out fine.

Since I had had so much experience in the kitchen, Advanced Cooking in high school was a breeze for me; I was fascinated by the art and science of cooking.  There I learned more about the wonder of the process of baking, why the baking powder or soda were needed for leavening, the amazing properties of eggs, and other such information.  It was fun, though certainly still a long way from "from-scratch" cooking.

After John and I were married, I had lots of cooking questions.  John was easy to please (still is!) but I had higher standards for myself.  I remember some of our early days, trying to find just the right way to cook pot roast.  I even called my mom and asked her how her pot roast turned out so well.  Was it the cut of beef?  No, she just bought whatever was on sale.  Was it the cooking time?  No, she just "put it in before church and it was done when we got home."  Was it the liquid added, or lack of liquid?  She usually didn't add much liquid, just "a little bit."  Was it necessary to sear the roast first?  So many questions!  I had lots of trial and error and we certainly ate well, but that was also in the days where I could go to the grocery store and not have to watch the budget too much, so some convenience and prepared foods were perfectly fine.

Then we went through a time where we were both in school again and our budget was drastically reduced.  As well, my brother was in the midst of a cancer battle and our whole family was trying to eat more healthy foods.  John and I settled on a good (if extremely simple) pattern:  oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch, and then a simple supper.  We did have little "luxuries" within that pattern: our favorite golden raisins on the oatmeal, the salad with tons of fresh veggies, homemade dressing (so much better than the bottled stuff!) and homemade croutons made from homemade bread with olive oil, crushed garlic, and salt.  YUM!  We had to make a pact not to eat the croutons unless we were eating salad also; they were so very tasty!  We made a lot of fresh bread, ate a lot of tuna or egg sandwiches, and ate a lot of pasta (we got pretty choosy about the sauce and loved the Bertolli brand).  As well, at that time we were working at Starbucks so I got my fill of caramel macchiatos, vanilla lattes, and americanos.  But I still did very little cooking from scratch.

Before we moved here, however, I made a very significant purchase:  The Joy of Cooking.  This one book fascinated, educated, and inspired me.  The chapters were comprehensive, understandable, and gave the history behind foods as well as detailed instructions.  Suddenly, with the absence of lots of prepared foods (you know, like diced tomatoes in a can or tortillas in a bag), I had to learn how to cook all over again.  And actually, it wasn't very sudden.  When we first arrived, we had no kitchen so we ate all our meals at the student cafeteria, restaurants, or from street vendors.  (I've mentioned before how a toaster greatly improved my quality of life at that time.)  Then we moved to our own apartment, and I still greatly depended on "convenience" food--you know, fresh noodles from the vendor, ordering delivery from the restaurant down the street, things like that.  But as culture stress lessened, I bought some pots and pans and a tiny oven, began to figure out where to buy essentials like baking soda and butter, and began to try out some recipes we used to love as well as adapt ones for cooking here.  I pored over the Joy of Cooking many a night to learn new techniques and find do-able recipes.

There were certainly some major flops. . . bread that didn't rise, a lasagne that I made with tofu instead of ricotta cheese (I must have bought the wrong type of tofu, it overpowered everything else), cookies and cakes with too many substitutions that didn't quite turn out, my first Thanksgiving turkey and gravy, the turkey was ok but the gravy congealed to the point where it was a solid mass!  And once I completely cracked a glass bowl trying to make peanut brittle in my microwave.  Oops.

But, trial and error, bit by bit, I began to learn and get a sense of making things from scratch.  My skills increased exponentially when my friends Rachel and Amy came to town.  We started to trade recipes and techniques and still do, actually!

During all that time, I wish I had known about this site.  SB, cook extraordinaire, has a wonderful site jam-packed with all sorts of tips, tricks, and recipes for making the foods we love from scratch where certain ingredients may not be available.  Need your own sour cream?  Want to try making cream cheese?  Or preparing pumpkin puree?  Or making authentic mexican food?  Or any of a hundred other things. . .she's really done a great job here.  If you are an expat mom, you MUST look at her site, I'd bet that even if you've been cooking overseas for years like I have, you will find something new to make! 

I tried SB's homemade cream cheese last weekend and was SO pleased with how it turned out.  I added a bit of jam and some sugar to it at the very end so that we could use it for bagels, and it is very yummy!  It is a bit softer than "real" cream cheese and lacked a bit of the tanginess, but otherwise was amazingly good, better than I expected and easier to make, too. 

I've posted a few recipes occasionally myself, and one of my goals is to go through them and tag them as recipes so that they can be found more easily.  But for tonight, here's some links to a few of my favorites.  Baked oatmeal, breadmaker bagels, Creamy Christmas eggnog, homemade pizza crust, golden honey pan rolls, our favorite cinnamon rolls, Swedish Roll-ups, pumpkin bread, and chai lattes in a crock-pot.  There may be more recipes hiding here somewhere, but give these a look-see for now!

Enjoy the recipes!  I hope to post recipes on a more regular basis in the future.  It's fun and hopefully helpful to some of you as well.  And don't forget to check out SB's site!

A Survey

Tonight as we were sitting down for family devotions, John started randomly asking Chloe some questions. I thought they were fun questions and interesting responses, so then we asked all the girls the same questions. Just for fun, here they are!

First up to be "interviewed": Chloe, four and a half years old.

What is your name? Chloe Rachelle

What is your favorite thing to wear? My ballet dress.

Where is your favorite place to go? McDonald's.

What is your favorite story to read? Adventures in Odessey (technically not a reading story, but, anyway...)

Ok, great! Next up: Clara Anne, six years old.

What is your name? Clara Anne Danielle.

What is your favorite thing to wear? The pink skirt and bunny shirt she had on at the moment. Not sure I believe it with all the dresses in her closet!

Where is your favorite place to go? Starbucks! (we were just there this morning, sharing a hot cocoa and playing Memory! I won with 9 matches but Clara Anne came in a close second with 8!!)

What is your favorite story to read? The Hiding Place. (I think this was also influenced by the fact that we've been reading it lately for family read aloud time and talking a lot about it. Some hard themes there, but such an encouraging book!)

And Christin, two and a half years old:
What's your name? I am Christin!

What is your favorite thing to wear? My Christmas dress from Grandma.

Where is your favorite place to go? McDonald's!

What is your favorite story to read? Farmer Boy. (We recently finished that one in family read aloud time. We all enjoyed it!)

At this point as we had finished our questions, Christin sensed she was done getting to speak and turned to me in the sweetest, funny way and said, "Mama, can we talk? Let's talk!" I guess she didn't feel her moment of "holding the floor" was long enough!

After we had finished our devotions and reading aloud, the girls were getting ready for bed and Clara Anne kept going on and on to me about how she is so surprised that she is growing up so fast. "Mommy, only three more years, 7, 8, and 9 and then I'll be 10! I can hardly believe it, it seems like I was just born! I just can't believe I am growing so quickly!" I chuckled a bit but also told her not to hurry up; she's got plenty of time to grow up and I'm not in a rush! She has seemed so mature lately though--she loves to use big words and speak like a little lady, "Mommy, I'm dreadfully hungry, I think I shall perish!" and "It's frightfully cold outside, Mommy! We must make sure to dress properly." She makes me smile, that Clara Anne! Chloe is picking up some of her habits too; just yesterday told me that a snowflake craft we had done would be "glistening" in their room after they hung their snowflakes from the ceiling. She meant "glittering" but I got her meaning. I love to see the girls expanding their vocabulary!

So, there's the thrilling results of our survey this evening. You never know what might come up in conversation at our house. These random conversations are moments I cherish, though, because I see them as opportunities to influence and teach my daughters. Plus, it's just plain fun--truly one of the joys of parenting!

Once in a Lifetime

We had a guest last week. Actually, she can't be considered a guest, she's more like family. How did my friend Rachel and her new baby Silas end up on our side of the world, just for a visit? A few words: her VERY generous and thoughtful husband + frequent flier miles. Yes, her husband stayed with their other three so that Rachel could take about 10 days for a mom's only vacation! Hallelujah!!!

Oh, the joy of being reunited! It seemed surreal, amazing, unbelievable, and. . . perfect, all that the same time. And it goes without saying that my girls were ga-ga around this new little handsome man!

Rachel got the joy of sleeping on Dora sheets while these 3 munchkins got the joy of a "sleepover" in the school room.

A snapshot of a typical bedtime routine moment: A last drink of water, a last story that must be told to Daddy, and a sleepyhead ready for lights out.

Rachel used her time here fully. I would have liked to use it even more fully, keeping her up chatting til all hours, every night, but unfortunately I caught a nasty bug JUST as she arrived at my house. I had a terribly high fever and a deep cough, and was so afraid of spreading it to her or baby Silas! Thankfully they stayed well, but each member of my family got it, one by one. We all recovered fairly quickly, thankful for over the counter meds in a time like that! On the first day Rach was with us, I had to be a party pooper and take a nap. When I got up, this is what I saw:

What a friend! You know you've got a good friend when she is so happy to be with you that she willingly reads the Berenstain bears to your kids! (I personally don't enjoy the B. bears all that much.) But this next photo shows the true depth of her love:

She did my dishes. Yes, she did. That weekend was a perfect storm: my house helper had been sick, I got sick, Rachel arrived and I wanted to make nice meals for her, but what to do?! I stacked lots of dishes hoping my helper would come back to work on Monday but in fact a phone call Sunday night confirmed that she still felt terrible. I was feeling pretty lousy myself so Rach said she wanted me to save my energy and SHE would do MY dishes. There were tons, and also tons of plastic cups which I know Rach hates to wash, and she washed every.last.one. That's sacrificial love, my friends! I sat on a chair outside the kitchen door and joined in the conversation while I waited for my current round of tylenol to kick in. What a friend! Thanks, Rach! I felt so loved. And, the next morning I could get up and actually function in the kitchen since everything was. . . clean! I think she got a few jewels in her crown for that one!

Silas bear regularly stunned us all with his cuteness. Who knew boys could be so cute! We needed another dose of masculinity around here!

The girls did not cease their adoration. There may have been a request or two for our family to have a baby brother as they saw how great it was to have Silas around. Hmmm, well, we'll have to think about that one!

The next night I couldn't get warm since my fever was up again, so I dressed in multiple layers including my white fuzzy robe that makes me look like a woolly mammoth. Fever didn't stop us, though: we used my gas stove to toast a few marshmallows for a little evening snack. Fun times, fun memories!

I guess the tension was running a little high in the above photo! :) Nah, just being totally silly.

Sweetness and light. Would you look at that smile?

The ladies enjoyed a day out together...laughing, talking, drinking hot cocoa, playing "Ticket to Ride" and generally having a great time. What a blessing!

And just like that, we were preparing to say goodbye.

Clara Anne was sad to see Silas go. I was sad to see Rachel go. But I was thankful, so thankful, for the time we had, and so joyful to have had this once in a lifetime opportunity. For her to travel alone with the baby, so far, just to be together, was such an amazing thing. She came and brought us joy and fun and laughter and tons of GIFTS and a wonderful, refreshing spirit with her. I love this dear friend!

I'll cherish the memories forever...and look forward to the next time the Lord brings us back together! We had to say goodbye for now, but as C. S. Lewis so rightly shouted in his booming voice, "Christians NEVER say goodbye!" Not for real, not forever. The hope of heaven and life together with Jesus awaits us!

Love you, Rach--my sister, my friend. So thankful for you!

A Preview

It's 10:02pm. Too late (for me, anyway) to start the long, newsy, picture-filled post that I had intended to write tonight. Instead, I'll give you a preview. The long, newsy, picture-filled post that I won't be writing has to do with this:More next time!

Love this girl.

She's a funny one, our Christin. I know I've been saying for awhile how she cracks us all up with the things she says, but it's really true! Lately she invented her own term of endearment by adding "s" to the end of a name. Two examples: "Hi Moms!" (said sweetly to me) and "Babes" added to the end of her baby doll's name, like "Mommy, where's my Sarah babes?" I guess to her it's a cute, shortened name instead of saying "mommy" or "baby." Makes me laugh! I sometimes can't believe I have such a verbal two year old. She truly can express herself so well and make us all laugh in the process. Love you, Christin!

Us

Taken on New Year's Eve, 2010. Yes, Clara Anne and Chloe are wearing dress-up clothes, but hey, you take what you can get!

Planting the Flag

Several of my online friends put up posts at the new year about their ONE word resolutions for the year ahead. I was intrigued by the idea. What if I were to do the same? What if I prayed and asked the Lord what one word He would have me to focus on this year?

In light of our recent news, I've been praying earnestly about what this year will look like. Certainly it will be filled with transition. We feel excited about the opportunity before us, and at peace about where the Lord is leading us. He has confirmed in many ways that this is the path we are to follow. But, I will confess that there's a huge temptation for me to worry about the changes ahead. Packing up our house, saying goodbye to friends here, leaving behind the only life my girls have ever known, transitioning our family to a whole different culture and lifestyle, affording an expensive degree, finding a place to live, wondering about finding new friends and "fitting in" to life in the States...all of these are a bit daunting, especially taken together. I find it easy to pray about these things, put them in the Lord's hands, and then pick them right back up again! Some days not ten minutes passes and I find myself turning things over in my mind again, wondering, worrying, contemplating.

So as I thought about the concept of simply asking the Lord for one word for this next year, He immediately brought it to mind: TRUST. This year has the potential for great spiritual growth, in that I will be challenged to trust Him in many new ways. I must remember that there is nothing that I will face this year that I cannot trust Him with. He is trustworthy, today, tomorrow, forever. The Lord can be trusted whether I live in Asia or America or somewhere in between. He is worthy of my whole hearted trust, no matter what circumstance I am facing.

We had a long bus ride last week to visit a friend and I re-read The Mom Walk by Sally Clarkson. In it, she talked about an experience where she "planted a flag" in her heart to walk with the Lord through a particularly difficult circumstance. The imagery stuck with me and I felt the Lord calling me to the same.

So, here it is. I am planting a flag in my heart for 2011 that has TRUST emblazoned upon it. When I am tempted to worry, to fret, to be afraid, I hope to say to my soul, "None of that! Remember, this is a year to TRUST. This circumstance, too, (whatever it is) can be another opportunity to trust Him."

Already I am finding that when I actively put my trust in the Lord for the concerns on my heart, He brings an amazing peace and joy through that process. How thankful I am for His gracious love which is always at work changing me! And how I want to be changed! Lord, may this year be a year to trust you with every situation I find myself in.

What am I trusting specifically? Words like these:

Hebrews 4:15-16: For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

1 Peter 1:3-5: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

Psalm 91:1-2: He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Hebrews 13:5: Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

These few brief verses only scratch the surface of His precious promises! But how wonderful they are. He is with me, He will not leave me. He understands my weakness. He is preserving for me a living hope, my salvation, forgiveness of my sins. He is my fortress and refuge, no matter what changes or difficulties may come. He is trustworthy.

How about you? Is there some area in your heart where you need to "plant a flag"? Is the Lord impressing on you a word that He wants you to focus on this year in your spiritual walk?

New Year News

Many, if not all of you, are on our list to receive our letters once a month. (Or as often as I get them out!) But in case I have a few readers here that don't get those letters, I wanted to share some news with you. Actually, John wrote this, so just consider it a "guest post." :) And, by the way, this is an edited version. Contact me if you'd like the full letter emailed to you!

New Year Greetings from the Winds!
Not only does every January 1st mark the beginning of the new calendar year, it also marks the beginning of a new year of work here for our family. We first arrived 7 years ago, on January 1, 2004. In fact, just tonight we were looking at some old pictures from those first few months and couldn't believe how quickly the years have passed and how much has happened!

This year as we mark the completion of 7 years of work, we are also anticipating some significant changes for our family in 2011.

After multiple months of prayer and discussion, we have begun on a path that we hope will lead to John beginning a Ph.D program in the upcoming fall. It would be a four year program at SBTS in Louisville, KY. Our family would plan to relocate to Louisville for those four years, meaning a departure from our work here.

Making this decision has not been easy as we have planted our lives here during the last 7 years, intending to stay indefinitely. We studied a new language, started a family, built a team, and opened a business. We shared with many and saw many lives changed. The possibility and the idea of pursuing the Ph.D came upon us unexpectedly in 2010. But as we began to seek Him in this matter, He began to confirm that He was, in fact, leading us to pursue this course. So the sadness of our expected departure is also mixed with the peace and confidence that His plan is best.

Our plan is to return to the US in 6 months, at the end of June. We hope to arrive in Louisville mid-July and begin settling into a new home in preparation for the beginning of John's fall semester. The next six months, then, will be focused on completing this 7 1/2 year leg of the race that has been marked out for us. When we first left for Asia 7 years ago, the hardest part was saying "goodbye" to all of our family and friends in the States. Now after living here for 7 years, the hardest part will be saying "goodbye" to our many dear friends and brothers and sisters here! Please pray for us as we seek to finish well our work here.

And, though our time here is not yet complete, it is never too early to say "Thank YOU" for all the wonderful support you've given us over the last seven years. You have played a key role in what He has done here!

We pray that the Lord will fill you with His superabundant joy, faithfulness, and fruitfulness in 2011!

Love,
the Winds

Wow. Big news. I have several posts percolating in my head as I think about these upcoming changes. You can bet there'll be lots of reflections, musings, and ponderings coming soon as our family anticipates this major transition, so stay tuned. Thanks for reading!

Memory Lane Strikes Again!

At the risk of boring you all with yet another trip down memory lane, I couldn't resist posting these old photos after all of that reminiscing the other night! First: here's our student dorm room upon arrival. Can you see the layer of dirt on the desk? And notice the cement floors! This room hadn't been lived in for awhile; it was a bit more expensive since it was prime real estate--a whole 30 square meters! The moment we walked in and agreed to live in this room, I stopped and said to John: "Don't touch anything!" We found the Clorox wipes that I had packed and immediately set to work. Our first meal, as mentioned before. I look a little grimy around the edges, but not bad for having traveled for three+ days!

Later on, about two weeks later I think, we finally figured out where to buy some plastic flooring that we could lay over the cement. We paid a LOT for it but didn't know how to bargain and by that point, didn't care! John went to work with his exacto knife to make it fit our room.

Above, a view of the provided furniture before the floor was laid...Below, also before the floor, when we were a bit more settled. Yes, we did take our own sheets and pillows, a special quilt and throw blanket. Those things made it seem like home right away.

Here's a picture from early days when I was newly expecting Clara Anne. I did NOT feel well and didn't know very well how to deal with the constant nausea and fatigue. Since we didn't have a kitchen, I survived the first few months of pregnancy on Sprite, a kind of instant breakfast cereal, egg sandwiches from the student snack bar, and mantou (a kind of steamed bread). No wonder I lost 10 pounds in the first trimester!

Mother's Day 2004: John bought me some beautiful roses to symbolize our new family of three.

This next picture is of my first female friend in our city. It's actually quite amazing--she is a teacher of the native language to foreign students, and actually corresponded with us over email when we were registering at the university. She helped to choose our local language names. She and her boyfriend helped us buy our first phone, eat at our first restaurant, and shop at our first grocery store. She came over to tutor us occasionally and we became good friends. In the picture below she had invited us to her house for lunch in the first few months that we lived here. Notice that "clean" kitchen!

The amazing part is that she is still one of my dearest friends! She and her boyfriend-turned-husband (we were at their wedding) now have a 3 year old son and live a few floors above us in our apartment building! We lost touch for awhile but then reconnected by seeing each other on the street one time. I love her infectious laugh, her humble, sweet spirit, and her love for Father. So thankful for my friend Angie!

These two pictures are from when our books arrived via M-bag from the States. All the books we couldn't do without were shipped at about a $1 a pound. Wow, those days sure are gone! Shipping overseas now practically requires a small fortune!

Here's a picture of John and I on a break from our language classes on the balcony overlooking part of the campus where we lived and studied. The other students came out to smoke, we just came out for a bit of "fresh" air and conversation before plunging back into another language.

I mentioned in my previous post that I had to change my habit to shower at night. Here's proof! A cup of decaf never hurt anything either!

This picture is from a dinner we had in our very first few weeks here. We had been introduced to a young college student with excellent English and he helped us get to know the city a bit. He became a real friend. We enjoyed this hot pot meal together.

He took us downtown to see the city square and its famous blue statue, meant to represent the natural underground springs unique to this city. Little did we know the smog we experienced that day was to become a regular part of our life!

This young man and his girlfriend also took us to visit another city landmark: the Lake. It was winter, gray and cold, but we had fun anyway! I remember the girlfriend linked her arm through mine as we walked along and I wasn't sure what to do about that!

Here's a few pictures of our student dorm, which we turned into a cozy refuge:

A "leather" chair next to the bed...

Plastic flooring and a pretty rug on the floor, our magnet collection on the radiators, a curtain (really just a sheet with a loop sewn into it for hanging) to separate the living area from the sleeping area...it all helped!

The bed, spread with our special quilt made by John's grandmother (this is our Select Comfort bed that we packed from the States by deflating and taking it apart!).

And John's desk workspace. Behind his head you can see just a glimpse of our "kitchen": we owned two bowls, two spoons, two sets of chopsticks, and two mugs. We got creative with hot water: instant oatmeal, instant noodles, coffee and tea, those were all staples in those early months. Until of course, we bought a toaster and I thought I had really struck it rich! Some things haven't changed too much...this is still how I get around town! I just took about a five year hiatus in the middle there (being pregnant, having a new baby, repeat x3). Now I usually have one or two kids with me on the bike!

Our bathroom in that dorm room also doubled as the drying room for our laundry, which I could wash on the bottom floor of our dorm building. We strung up clothesline and it worked just fine. I was so thankful for that bathroom! (especially as morning sickness took its course!)

A final picture of the inside of our room, this is looking from the living area toward the front door. We made the most of that space!

Ahh, memories! Isn't it fun to look back and remember how things used to be? Hope you enjoyed these old photos!

Seven Year-aversary

Today marks seven years since John and I arrived in this country! We had left the States on our 7th anniversary, December 28 2003, but then were delayed for two days in LA. We finally arrived in Hong Kong early on the morning of January 1st, having missed New Year's Eve because of the time difference and crossing the international date line. We had a long layover in HK, then boarded an afternoon flight to our city. We were met at the airport by the only person we knew in this city of six million people: the guy who worked in the international student office at the university. He crammed us and our 8 pieces of luggage into a little "bread taxi" (like a mini-mini-van) and I sat on John's lap for the trip back to the school. We moved into a dusty, dirty fifth floor apartment with cement floors and thankfully, no bugs. Bonus: we had our own bathroom! That was a huge relief to me! Our first meal that evening was bottled water, some sort of greasy cracker and a package of cashews (bought at the student snack bar). How thankful we were to have arrived, with all our luggage, to a completely foreign city but knowing that we were exactly where we were supposed to be.

Somehow the number seven seems significant to me, I'm not sure why. It feels like it wasn't that long ago, and yet so much has happened since that day! What have we learned in seven years? Here's a few thoughts for you:

Language
We arrived speaking none, almost absolutely none, of the local language. I think we could say "hello" and "thank you." For a long time we had a "hello" ministry...we said "hello" to everyone we met, very unusual in this culture. But that was about all we could say! Now, though we're certainly not close to true fluency, we can hold our own in a variety of topics. John's listening comprehension is better than mine, especially as regards to spiritual vocabulary. He hears well and knows a lot more words than I do. But I can use more of what I know, and use it more smoothly, which sometimes gives people the illusion that I speak better than I do! I could teach you how to bake a cake easily in the local language, or talk about parenting or marriage or family issues or the price of eggs or any of those kinds of daily use topics. And since I gave birth here, I even know random things like "Is the amniotic fluid adequate?" and "The contractions are five minutes apart and I am 2 centimeters dilated." But don't try to describe to me how the transmission on your car is acting up or ask me my opinions about George Bush's foreign policies. I won't be able to give intelligent answers!

Family
We arrived in this country having been married for seven years and without children. Now, we just celebrated our fourteenth wedding anniversary and have three precious daughters, as well as one child we didn't get to meet. Our family has certainly changed! How thankful we are for this wonderful change, even when it's a rough discipline day or the stomach flu hits. Clara Anne was added to our family on December 25, 2004, Chloe on June 26, 2006, and Christin on April 28, 2008. And get this: they were all born in different countries! Hong Kong (sort of a country, you have to go through customs to exit the airport so I'm counting it!), Thailand, and the Big Chicken respectively. Hmmm, that's a little bit crazy. They are all already quite the little travelers and we've had to add pages to both Clara Anne's and Chloe's passports because they were running out of space. The girls have only ever visited America, this is truly their home. I think there's something really special about that.

Culture
Well, we've certainly made some progress in this area. Now we can ride bike and zip through the traffic like the natives. We are wary of accepting big gifts from people we hardly know (there's usually a request in there somewhere). We don't get fazed when people regularly comment on our weight. We have learned how to negotiate "guanxi" in this culture; i.e., use relationships to get things accomplished. We have made true friends despite cultural differences. We have gotten used to simple errands taking all day. We aren't baffled by the displays of fireworks at random times and for all sorts of reasons. We can eat local food for weeks on end, and enjoy it if we have to. But, there are things we'll never get fully used to: feeling like a perpetual outsider; having our teaching or training dismissed because "you Americans just do things differently, it's not like that here;" seeing children relieve themselves any old place, including inside the home on the floor (!!!); and people not looking before crossing busy streets!!! I know WHY they don't look (it has to do with fault, if I didn't see you coming then it wasn't my fault) but STILL...it's crazy! There's danger on the streets, let me tell you! So there remain many cultural areas where we're still learning.

How to Live in Another Culture
Only a few weeks after first arriving here, some seasoned personnel gave us this wise advice: During your first year, just focus on learning how to live there. Make friends. Figure out how to make life do-able. Focus on making life as "normal" as you can so that you can go about your work. I thought this was excellent advice and it stuck with me. Simple daily life skills in another culture can be tough at first. Learning how to buy necessities, how to get around and then get home again, learning how to understand the accent of people who are trying to speak English to you, figuring out how to do laundry, and what about meals. . . all of those skills take time to learn! For example, when we first lived in a student dorm, there was only hot water at certain times of the day. So though I had always taken showers in the morning, I had to switch my habit to evening because that was when the hot water was more reliable. Also, at first we ate our meals at the student cafeteria. Then we found and bought a toaster (our dorm room didn't have a kitchen) and it really improved my quality of life! It took awhile before I figured out how to order an egg sandwich at the student snack bar that did NOT have mayo, ketchup or lettuce. But when I first learned the phrase to say "no extra toppings, just the egg" it made life easier. I was eating a lot of egg sandwiches in those days since I was expecting Clara Anne and no garlicky, gingery stir fry sounded good to me! So, figuring out the food, how to cook in another culture and how to eat in another culture were certainly important to our adjustment. I think there's no doubt that we've learned both since our arrival 7 years ago! (Just note our recent Christmas menu!)

Travel
I wish someone had told me this before I moved here. I thought I was moving here and was going to stay put, living in this one place and getting used to it. But in fact I should have had different expectations. We have lived for significant periods of time in many different places, partially because we had babies in different places but also because of required travel for meetings. I used to romanticize the idea of travel, oh, it's so fun and exciting to see different places and experience different cultures. And while it can be fun and exciting, it also can be amazingly frustrating when you can't communicate, get lost, don't know where or what to eat, forget to take your passport (YES we have done this on more than one occasion!), take the wrong passport, take the wrong bus, forget the value of the currency and pay way more than you intended, have difficulty figuring out the public transportation system, don't know where to buy groceries, suddenly need some medicine in the middle of the night, etc and etc. Add kids into the mix and traveling can seem downright daunting! Thankfully the vast majority of our travel has been very enjoyable. Those things can be aggravating, and it's always wonderful to come home again, but we have seen some beautiful places. I have a special place in my heart for Hong Kong--love the beauty of the islands mixed with the hustle and bustle of downtown, and of course, Clara Anne was born there in a nice hospital on the Island--and Phuket, Thailand where we had an amazing vacation when Clara Anne and Chloe were little. Phuket was one of the most naturally gorgeous places I've ever seen. God's creation in that part of the world filled my city-smog-ridden, noisy-neighbors, traffic exhaust-and-cigarette-smoke-oppresed soul with peace and joy. I'm thankful for the travel we've been able to do, even though I didn't anticipate it when we first moved here!

Transition
In many ways our life over these seven years has been one of constant transition. We ourselves have changed, our family has changed. We've had major, significant change in almost all aspects of our life--our friends, our partners, our work...and it's not stopping! But such is life in this world. We weren't meant to be here on earth forever. This isn't heaven yet. So any time I get my heart too set on any one thing, I remind myself that things won't be this way forever--for good or for bad!

So there's some thoughts about our seven years. How thankful we are for the Lord's faithful sustaining of us through this time! I hope we have learned more about following Him in these seven years as well. He has been the Rock through these life lessons and transitions, in fact, He is using them to shape and change us. We rejoice in His excellent care of us. Nothing that has happened to us was outside His control. It was all for His purposes, for His glory.

And that's a great thought to end this New Year's Day post. As He's been faithful, He will continue to be faithful, to guide the future as He has the past. Our confidence is sure, it cannot be shaken. His promises are true, He will not and cannot fail! That's our hope for 2011. Lord, may this next year be one for our good and your glory! Amen.